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PMB's N20k to Eaglets

Someone just called me from the village...over PMB's N20k to Eaglets.


Marcellinus: De Emeka, good afternoon egbule gi O!

Me: Ya egbulegi, Nwanne. Wetin dey happen?

Marcellinus: Dede nothing mega. But come this your man dey crase O!

Me: Which my man? Anybody wey fuck up you go say na my man...

Marcellinus: Bros, na your way na. Your guys na fuck up...many of them.

Me: So, tell me...who is this one this time?

Marcellinus: Is it not your granfather, Buhari!!!

Me: I beg your pardon! How is that skinny man my grandfather? Don't you know about Oparakagha Nwaorima, the father of Sir Ethelbert Oparah, my father? Ok, he's my grandfather. What has he done?

Marcellinus: That aka gum, aradite gave the Golden Eaglets N20,000 each...20 fucking thousand! Is that for groundnut or for condom ha ga eji sort umu mbeti that are lining up in remote locations waiting for for them? Cheezos!

Me: Is that what you're shouting about? Haven't you heard about the saying "ask not what your country can do for you, but what you cn do for your country?" It's called patriotism!

Macellinus: Rubbish. Total rubbish, Dedem, with all due respect. So kedu ihe mmadu huru na cherubim o ga eji kujie aka? I mean, if any of those boys broke their legs during the tournament so they would have gone like "isorait"?

Me: Which one buzikwa Isorait, di anyi?

Marcellinus: The person will be like Aaron? He will go empty-handed! Chai. My son who's been disturbing me about playing football had better go and find another calling O! This aligara Bugharia ebughariala everything O!

Me: Bros, this is change. The era of impunity, when our money was being thrown around like confetti, is gone.

Marcellinus: Ngwanunu! Okwa mpunity? Let's see how far this will take us. I swear this is the last time Nigeria will win anything until this man goes out of office. That's why I loved Goodluck. My man! The paddy na eke cash in dollars and pounds, not this aradite.

Me: Marcel, please go and sit down. That time is gone.

Marcellinus: Anyway, na you sabi. Is that not why we are forming Biafra. We will force Goodluck to come and serve us as President. The man was a good man. Oghotara ije. Not this analogue aradite pretending to be Jesus. Abeg!

Me: Ikwuchaala?

Marcellinus: Dede I'm done. I'm embarrassed by your man, eziokwu. Chineke mekwaara the man ebere. Does he even eat the way he looks.

Me: Agu, you're talking about our President!

Marcelliunus: Dede, chiilax O. When you people were abusing my man Goodluck saying he was drinking and was clueless, you didn't know your own time will come. Abeg make my credit no finish. You wey get free credit, abeg call me back.
PMB's N20k to Eaglets PMB's N20k to Eaglets Reviewed by Emeka Oparah on Friday, November 27, 2015 Rating: 5

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