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Sunday Mass with Eze Nnunu, Phyno...!


This is a confession, and I'm hoping for his own good, Fr. Chris (Ichie Nwokem) isn't reading me. Na him sabi, abeg.

True to God eh (my tongue out and my right index finger touching it and pointing up the sky!) I went to Mass today with Phyno. And don't ask me who Phyno is, because if you don't know Phyno, then you don't know what's up. That is to say, imaghi Current Affairs short and simple!

This whole Phyno thing started very early today, when Bonaventure, one of my guys in the village, called to inform me he was getting married. He used terms like "authe", "Eshi" to describe his fiancé. Foolish boy, Bonaventure, actually told me that I'm Old School and referred me to listen to "Authentic". He didn't know that na amam what's up as a guy. Ighotago?

So, I got on the road to St. Agnes for the 10:30am Mass, I started jamming Phyno's Authentic, featuring Flavour Nabania, which I already saved in the hard drive of my car. Ighotago? Nnaa eh, it was a hit back to back as I set it on repeat!

I know some sanctimonious folks will accuse me of "apostasy" for playing such a worldly song with "dirty" lyrics on my way to Mass instead of Songs of Praise or Hymns Ancient and Modern. Na dem sabi! Fake people! They will be playing the same song to work and in their homes. 

Phyno is too much...in fact four much! Chai! He killed me with "Authentic". Ighotago? When he spells the word laps, L...A...P...S, laps. Chai! I go into a tailspin, men. Chai! Laps, kwa? Someone on my mind here. Ighotago?

Then he goes...
🎶See this girl she finer
She carry round and round she winer
Everything she wear designer
She carry round and round she winer
I ma na nwata bu Authe, o bu Authe, O bu Authe…ahhhh
Nwata bu Authe, o bu Authe, O bu Authe….ahhhh....🎶
🎶Cool-down … Ah
Nne cool — down … Ah
Ihe i na acho uko elu dikwa na uko down
Follow me a real Gee make we buggy-down
After me and you turn up nga tu gi down … Ha
Nwa nwe body … ighotago?
Ee– ka m bunye gi uche … ighotago?
I ma kwa na nwa bu size m … Ighotago?
Si ya nulukwa advice m … Ighotala?
Authe...Authe...Authe....! Chai! 

After the boring hymns in Mass, I jumped into my car and resumed jamming my song of the day, Authe...Authe...Authe...Ighotago? And I drove home with Phyno.

A very nice Sunday it is.
Sunday Mass with Eze Nnunu, Phyno...! Sunday Mass with Eze Nnunu, Phyno...! Reviewed by Emeka Oparah on Thursday, March 03, 2016 Rating: 5

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